Parenting Tips

The "Second Shift"

Updated: Feb 25

While back in college, well my second time in college. I was taking a sociology class and as I listened to my professor she spoke of something that just resonated with me all too well.

You see at this stage of my life I was 27 and with my second child. She was talking about gender specific roles and how many women would come home after working a long day, only to come home to their "second shift" cook dinner, and pick up whatever messes were laying around the house. Not to mention laundry, just to make the house clean. For a lack of a better word. Now I'm not saying that some of your spouses or significant others don't pull their weight or share of the household chores. But there are still many that don't.

I am not married, but I knew when she spoke exactly what she meant. I also knew that class was mine.

After my son turned two I considered myself an expert in parenting. Traveling, balancing work and family. I must have flown twice a week for 12 months riding couches, and living out of hotels. We had seen two cities a week for two years at that point and in my eyes I was a pro. If i did learn anything it was like most things in life, children are like people, they are predictable and consistent. And if you can be those two things for your child. Oh how the world will work oh so smoothly. So what am I talking about exactly?

Recycling. Yes, not the garbage kind but. My brother jokes about how after every season or so I literally go minimal and just basically throw away or donate practically everything we ever own. I'm not much for material things and I find that it's the simple things that keep us the happiest. And the simpler we can keep our lives, the happier we'll be.

Example. My daughter was given a power wheels as a gift, something I was sure I was deprived as a child because I hadn't had one. And it literally sits in our back yard, right now as we speak (its 12 degrees out ) #priorities. My point being, kids, my kids at least don't need stuff. We have SOOOOOO much stuff we don't even know what to do with it. My poor daughter and this sounds awful I know, but trust life balances itself out in it's own ways. She has so many toys she doesn't even know what to play with. I had to write to family members to give gifts in the form of zoo memberships and museums which seemed utterly tacky but I had no other way of storing these things anymore, where I knew they didn't really need them.

So that's when the system came in, I know your aware of it. Sometimes I think we just need that reminder. Especially at those younger years, so. Let's begin.

We have designated play areas, bookshelves ( think doctors offices or psychiatrists.)Baskets and bins on display that keep items and books at hand but hidden. Play rooms. I've never been a fan of plastic or any type of toys in our living room. We have a small home and unless it's wood, I don't care for it to be seen.

I rotate. Books, clothes, stuffed animals. You name it.

Toddlers, take out a few puzzles and rotate em. You can have a child pay with a few mind challenging things and they will stay interested, not to mention you won't look like your dumpster diving in your toddlers toy box. Then after a week, bring them up to the attic, and take out three different things. It's Christmas, every day of the week. They love it. You just keep re-introducing old toys and it's just that easy.

Which leads me to cleaning. I learned from a friend who now has two children but was a psychology major at the same how to make things work for you. If you worked less it just evened out. So from now on my now once toddler who is a teenager, the same concept applies. While sweeping through my house I carry a laundry basket and literally just throw everything in there as I go. Shoes, cups, backpacks, linens. And as you go you just drop those things off in the proper places. Things effortless go back into place and if you can teach your child the "one toy" at a time rule. That you don't take out a toy until the last one that's been played with is put away. You will have such an independent, self- sufficient child. Who will not only WANT to pick up after themselves, but will be proud of themselves for doing it.

Hope you guys enjoyed your evenings. Goodnight!